In today’s era, where esotericism and spirituality are gaining popularity, a new social phenomenon called by me the enlightened narcissist emerges. This is a person who, under the guise of spiritual development and knowledge, hides narcissistic tendencies, creating a new, subtler form of narcissism. In this article, we will take a closer look at this phenomenon, its causes, effects, and ways to deal with enlightened narcissism.
Introduction to Esoteric Narcissism
Narcissism, commonly understood through the lens of psychology as a tendency towards excessive fascination with oneself and a lack of empathy towards others, finds its new face in the context of esotericism and spirituality. Esotericism, dealing with secret knowledge and seeking deeper spiritual development, unexpectedly becomes a platform where narcissism can take on a more subtle, enlightened manifestation. This phenomenon, which I call enlightened narcissism, is characterized by using esoteric and spiritual practices to emphasize one’s uniqueness and superiority over others, often under the guise of striving for enlightenment and spiritual development.
Definition and Characteristics of Enlightened Narcissism
Enlightened narcissism goes beyond the traditional understanding of narcissism as a phenomenon limited to the realm of ego and self-admiration. In its scope, the narcissist uses the language and practices of spirituality as tools to build an image of a deeply enlightened person, often while lacking genuine engagement in the practices they preach. These individuals may use esoteric terminology, claiming they have reached a higher level of consciousness, are in contact with the source, or are incarnations of divine beings, which in reality mainly serves to satisfy their narcissistic needs, such as the desire for adoration, admiration, or a sense of superiority.
Characteristics of a Spiritual Narcissist
The characteristics of an enlightened narcissist are complex and multi-dimensional, often hiding under the guise of deep spirituality and apparent wisdom. These individuals can take on various roles in spiritual communities – from healers, through teachers and coaches to curandeiro – claiming to possess unique knowledge, transmissions, and skills that distinguish them from others. Their message seems to be imbued with a deep understanding of esoteric truths, and their life – an example of spiritual practice and self-improvement. However, upon closer acquaintance, the enlightened narcissist often reveals their true face, driven primarily by the need for adoration, admiration, and confirmation of their uniqueness. They invent incredible stories just to point out errors in others and to show themselves in the best light, but how could it be otherwise? After all, they are “enlightened” 🙂
How to Recognize an Enlightened Narcissist?
Recognizing an enlightened narcissist requires looking beyond the facade and paying attention to several key behaviors:
- Excessive focus on oneself: Although the enlightened narcissist may often talk about spirituality, the mirror effect, karma, and personal development, at the center of their interest is always themselves, their knowledge, merits, and messages “straight from the source”. Their “spirituality” serves not so much the pursuit of truth, but rather the building of an image of a unique and enlightened person.
- Lack of genuine practice: Although the enlightened narcissist may declare adherence to various spiritual practices, their actions often are not consistent with the values they preach. They may promote love and unity while behaving manipulatively or exploiting others for their own benefits. They perform various healing rituals and ceremonies and later bill very high amounts. Even if you do not feel a change, you will receive an answer that everyone is different and this is your process.
- Need for adoration: The enlightened narcissist seeks continuous confirmation of their uniqueness and spiritual superiority. This may take the form of seeking attention, compliments, and even devotion from others.
- Manipulation and control: Using their position and knowledge, the enlightened narcissist may manipulate others, claiming that only they have the key to true spirituality or enlightenment. They check Akashic records, receive messages from the source, remember their previous incarnations with you in the leading role and KNOW! THEY KNOW EVERYTHING! AND YOU DON’T. Such a person is simply full of hidden pride.
They often use psychological techniques to maintain control over their followers, clients, or patients. - Lack of empathy and authentic relationships: Despite apparent concern for the well-being of others, the enlightened narcissist rarely engages in authentic, deep relationships. Their “empathy” often serves as a tool for further manipulation and earning.
Recognizing an enlightened narcissist in the spiritual community takes time and careful observation. It is important to remember that authentic spirituality is based on empathy, humility, lack of pride, and a continuous pursuit of truth, not on self-promotion and elevating oneself above others. In confronting enlightened narcissism, the ability to think critically and maintain emotional distance becomes crucial, allowing for the protection of one’s well-being and genuine spiritual development.
Causes of the Development of Enlightened Narcissism:
- Cultural emphasis on individualism and self-improvement: Modern culture often promotes the ideal of self-sufficiency and individual success, which can lead to the belief that spiritual development is another area of competition and gaining an advantage over others. In such a context, spirituality becomes not so much a path to inner enlightenment, but a way to build one’s personal brand and stand out from others.
- Lack of genuine understanding and engagement in spiritual practices: Some individuals may approach esotericism and spirituality superficially, treating them as tools for building an image, rather than as a path to personal development. This attitude may stem from a lack of deeper understanding of spiritual practices or a reluctance to confront one’s own weaknesses and limitations.
- Unresolved emotional issues or traumas: Often, behind the facade of an enlightened narcissist, there are unresolved emotional issues or traumas. Spirituality may then be used as a way to mask these problems, offering an illusion of control and inner power, instead of engaging in the difficult process of resolving them.
Effects of Enlightened Narcissism:
The effects of enlightened narcissism can be far-reaching and severe for both the individual and their environment.
- Fe eling of emptiness and dissatisfaction: Individuals who assume the role of an enlightened narcissist often experience inner emptiness and dissatisfaction. Their engagement in spirituality is superficial and primarily serves to build an image, which does not bring a true sense of fulfillment or a deeper understanding of oneself.
- Manipulation and toxic relationships: The enlightened narcissist may use their position to manipulate others, creating a network of toxic relationships around them. Their actions can lead to emotional exploitation, pressure, and using the trust of others for personal benefits. They demand more from everyone than is possible.
- Disillusionment and pain: For those around the enlightened narcissist, discovering the true face of such a person can be a source of deep disillusionment and pain. The facade of spirituality and wisdom that the narcissist built, when unmasked, may leave a feeling of betrayal and loss.
Authenticity and Its Importance in Spirituality
Authentic spirituality is based on honesty towards oneself and others, openness to experiencing and accepting life in its fullness, both in its positive aspects and those more difficult. It means a continual quest for truth, even if it requires facing one’s own weaknesses, fears, or limitations. Authentic spirituality is fundamentally about deep engagement in the process of personal development, which is not a linear process, but rather a spiral of experiences that teach us ever new aspects of ourselves and the world.
Authenticity also requires us to develop empathy and humility – the ability to empathize with others and acknowledge that our perspective is not the only correct one. Humility in a spiritual context also involves accepting that we do not know all the answers and that our knowledge and experience are always limited.
False Spirituality and Its Pitfalls
False spirituality often relies on external attributes and symbols that are supposed to demonstrate “spiritual progress” without deeper self-work. This can include having extensive esoteric knowledge, participating in numerous rituals, or assuming titles and spiritual roles that confirm one’s “spiritual superiority”. This attitude leads to spiritual pride, where focus on external achievements replaces true inner transformation.
False spirituality can also lead to excluding others, creating closed and hierarchical structures in communities, where a person’s value is measured by their “spiritual achievements” or membership in a specific group. Such an attitude opposes the fundamental principles of empathy, equality, and community, which are crucial for healthy spirituality.
How to Recognize Authentic Spirituality?
Recognizing authentic spirituality requires mindfulness and introspection. Authentic spirituality is not always loud or spectacular; it often features a quiet presence, deep inner insight, and genuine commitment to the well-being of others. People practicing authentic spirituality often demonstrate openness to change, willingness to admit mistakes, and a continuous desire for development.
A key element is also the way a person engages in spiritual practices – whether they are performed with deep understanding and respect for the traditions from which they originate, or treated as a means to achieve personal benefits or recognition.
How to Deal with Spiritual Narcissism?
Dealing with spiritual narcissism, both in a personal context and in relationships with others, primarily requires deep awareness and understanding of the nature of the problem. Here are some ways to effectively deal with this phenomenon:
– Self-Work
Individuals who notice narcissistic tendencies in themselves, especially in the context of spirituality, should consider undertaking self-work. Psychological therapy can be invaluable support, helping to identify the sources of these tendencies and develop strategies to overcome them. It is important to remember that change requires time and commitment, and the process can be both challenging and liberating.
– Setting Boundaries
For those in the environment of a spiritual narcissist, setting boundaries is crucial. This means clearly defining what is acceptable to us and what crosses our limits. Establishing and communicating these boundaries can help protect against manipulation and emotional exploitation.
– Energetic Protections
In the context of spirituality, energetic protections can play an important role in dealing with narcissism. Practices such as meditation, aura cleansing, or even simple breathing exercises can help maintain one’s own energy space and protect against the negative influence of the narcissist. It is important to regularly practice these techniques, keeping your energy balanced and harmonious.
– Trusting Yourself
One of the most important aspects of dealing with spiritual narcissism is trusting yourself. Even if the spiritual narcissist is a famous person, acclaimed and recommended by many people, it is important to listen to your own intuition and inner voice. Trusting yourself and your feelings can be a powerful tool in distinguishing authentic spirituality from narcissistic manipulations.
– Education and Support
Expanding knowledge about narcissism and spirituality can also help deal with this phenomenon. Reading books, participating in workshops or support groups can provide valuable information and tools necessary for effectively dealing with spiritual narcissism. Support from a community that understands the problem can be invaluable in the process of regaining balance and emotional health.
Historical and Contemporary Examples
One of the most notorious examples could be Jim Jones, the leader of the Peoples Temple cult, who presented himself as a messiah and spiritual teacher, whose actions led to the tragic deaths of 918 people in Jonestown. Jones used his position to manipulate, control, and exploit his followers, which ultimately revealed his narcissistic tendencies.
Another example could be Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho), who, despite conveying many valuable spiritual teachings, was also criticized for promoting a lifestyle full of luxuries and sexual promiscuity, which contradicted the ascetic ideals he often preached. Controversies around his person and community in Oregon revealed the complexity of his character, mixing deep spiritual messages with elements of narcissistic leadership.
